So, I’ve been tagged in this 7 things…thing. For those of you who are wandering to my blog from places that are NOT Twitter…it’s where some random stranger tells you that you have to detail 7 things that no one knows about you and post them for the world to see. Obviously, there will be no mention of my love of shoes here.
I’m not quite sure there is anything about me that NOBODY knows…I’m a purger, so my secrets are delved out to those I know and love and trust…and now, I’ll dump some on you. Needless to say, they will be innocuous, the good ones will stay where they should be.
1. I don’t remember my childhood. Even some of my teenage years. Those stories you have of birthday parties and school parties and homeroom shenanigans? I have none of those. I can vaguely recall some of my friends from that time, but really because they went to school with me my whole life – not because I remember any instances of them or interacting with them. The best I have is recalling pictures that I have seen of that time. I don’t feel like this is any kind of “scarred by any emotional incident”, I don’t feel dark and tortured (ummm, I have some ex-boyfriends that may disagree), I don’t have any issues with intimacy. I think I just have a shit memory. I continue to have a shitty memory to this day.
2. I never snuck out as a kid. I think I only broke curfew once…by 15 minutes…and I woke my mom up when I got home to apologize. Yeah…I was a dork. I didn’t do everything by the book…I had sex before I should have…with one boy…and though I thought I was ready at the time…I wasn’t…and it was awful…but I continued and stayed with him on and off for 12 years…and it remained awful the whole damn time.
3. I have been in more than my share of fights. Not verbal – well – wait – I’ve been in WELL over my share of verbal fights – but number 3 is actually about the number of physical fights I’ve been in…before I turned 21, I had a not-so-silent rage. Usually taken out my boyfriend (probably due to sexual frustration – see number 2), when I was young, it was on my brother…but I was a fighter. I never fought unjustly (well, OK, maybe my brother) – I think I’ve blogged about this before…so this may not count but I don’t remember if I have (see number 1). Anyway, if I see someone getting treated unfairly, I tend to get involved…and sometimes this leads to fighting…and sometimes it means physically. I was once grabbed by a guy outside a movie plaza while his two friends laughed – I had walked around a corner and bumped into one of them and he grabbed my ass and yanked me into him while the others chuckled…so, naturally, I hauled back and punched him in the face – they ran off and I did what any young girl would do…I chased them. I caught one and proceeded to politely explain how he and his friends should treat women in the future. I’d like to think it was a good lesson that he took with him.
4. Often the feeling of water on my face makes me cry. Showers or rain…I’m not sure why – and generally only when I’m really sad about something, but sometimes even when I don’t realize I’m sad. I’ll get in the shower and as soon as I turn around and put my face in the shower I just cry. I have no idea what triggers this. For this reason, if I am going through a horrible break-up…I tend to not shower. I know – AWESOMELY SEXY. I have had to be dragged off the couch by roommates after a 4 day no-shower binge. This could technically be another number, but whatever, I’m also a wallower. I need to wallow to get all my ’sad’ out…so 4 days on the couch without showering while just crying into a pillow is close to heaven for me. Not as in “this is a good time” but as in “it don’t get more cleanse-y than this”. Oh, I also puke like a mother-fucker when I’m really upset. Seriously, it DOES NOT GET HOTTER THAN ME PEOPLE.
5. I am petrified of driving home and my house being either on fire or burned to the ground. I saw a building get hit by lightening when I was young (oddly enough, THIS I remember) and it caught on fire….I have spent my life being seized by the fear, when rounding the corner to my house, that it will not be standing there. That it will have been burnt to the ground. This fear has subsided some in the last 10 years or so, but living in Florida when the state is constantly on fire, has started to bring it back…It doesn’t surface often, but if I see ANY smoke in the distance, even if not in the direction of my house, I find myself speeding home and don’t realize until I pull in my driveway that I have been panicked the whole time.
6. I can name every boy I’ve ever kissed. There have not been many. In order they are: Dave, Jeff, Brian, Ryan, [redacted], Josh, Matt, Kurt, Kevin, Mark, Chris, Anthony, Kris, Dusty, [redacted], Keith. Ok…I may have lied – I feel like I could have missed one…ummmm…if it was you, I apologize. Also, I apologize for the [redacteds] – but some secrets I’m keeping.
7. I think I could be a government assassin. No, I don’t have any kind of “Alias”/Jennifer Garner fantasy or anything, I’ve actually never even shot a gun. I don’t even have the desire to have a gun in my house, but I am convinced I have the heart and hand of a sharpshooter. I also think I have the detachment and coldness of someone who could kill someone, but the moral turpitude that only do it if it was for a just reason. I mean, I wouldn’t just kill someone for cash, but I could totally be a military sniper. I’m sure of it.
Ok, I can’t imagine what else you’d need to know about me. I don’t think you even need to know that garbage – sorry it isn’t more exciting, but my life is fairly boring..and the stuff that isn’t boring is not fit for broadcast. Sorry, team.
Ok, next up (sorry if you’ve already been tagged, but I can’t keep track of all of your social lives…It is hard enough to keep track of my busy social agenda…by that I mean: tivo). tag @fourformom (duh), @porto_rock, @mamitamojita, @porto_rock, @amassofhumanity, @bignerdscott, @secretsquirrel (who I don’t think follows me or even reads my @replies…but whatever).
Shit – totally tagged @porto_rock twice. either I’m bad at math or I just wanted to subliminally put in my love of shoes.
Andrew! The other guy was Andrew!
Nice.
Btw, #7 and #3 are related. Or at least they are in me. Detached/cold in many ways leads to “ready for action.” You don’t freak out, you just jump in.
#4 says you’re not unfeeling or invulnerable, but you have an intense “unloading” mechanism. Not one I’d like to be around, given all the crying, puking, unwashed wallowing, and whatnot. But I wager it’s efficient, and makes you better to be around the rest of the time.
No wonder, look at all those dudes’ names. Pretty much the most common names in the history of mankind. Why don’t you throw in a Maximus, Quan, Keano, or Zobrist? With all those common shitheads, no wonder your history of intimacy (or lack thereof) is well documented. You’re shopping at the wrong Man Mall sister. Maybe you should give up shopping all together? At least no drunk shit head’s going to vomit while having to put up with the stink patch you’re creating while on the couch 4 days in a lump of your own bodily fluids! Carson! Now that’s a name. Wait a minute, the batter is all dry here! DANG! What the fuck am I talking about?!?!
Not boring at all; fascinating & very honest.
I’m glad it’s not just me with the shit memory; I can’t remember what I did yesterday. And if you ever need someone to set up a hit squad with, I’m your woman. You haz the skillz, I haz the ‘moral flexibility’.
Sorry about #3. I thought you were coming on to me. For the record, my nose is still broken. Thanks.
So are you saying that it was Dave that you were with for 12 years and that he caused your sexual frustration, because he sucked in bed?
I will neither confirm nor deny that. And I’m sure that since I had never been with anyone before, I was GOD-AWFUL in the sack….of course….Dave had been with multiple people…you know…DURING OUR RELATIONSHIP…but…whatever…
I’m sorry! But why did you keep going back to him if he kept cheating on you? Especally since he wasn’t that good! I hope that you think of yourself higher than that, and in the years past I hope that you have finally found someone who is worthy of you!
)
Aww – who can explain the heart of first love? You want to leave, but not as much as you want to believe the person who you have given your heart to and who is telling you they love you, it wasn’t true, or they are sorry…when you’ve given your heart away for the first time, it is awful hard to decide to take it back…no harm in the long run though – it brought me to Florida and this is where I am supposed to be. All that pain has healed and I wish nothing but the best for the entire Breton clan…which is more than I can say for what I was thinking for quite a few years in there…and what my family and friends think….but looking back now I can only shake my head and laugh at what was puppy love and wonder WHAT was I thinking to stay and WHAT ON EARTH I was doing with someone who was so obviously not my type!!
Your family and friends (and I think I’m safe here in speaking for all of us) still think he’s a douche and that the “do not EVER contact her again” rule will stand for all eternity. Just in case you were wondering. I think if I called and asked, your brother would *still* hold him down while I beat him. I mean, if we weren’t grown ups now and didn’t even consider stuff like that.