So, I’ve been tagged in this 7 things…thing. For those of you who are wandering to my blog from places that are NOT Twitter…it’s where some random stranger tells you that you have to detail 7 things that no one knows about you and post them for the world to see. Obviously, there will be no mention of my love of shoes here.
I’m not quite sure there is anything about me that NOBODY knows…I’m a purger, so my secrets are delved out to those I know and love and trust…and now, I’ll dump some on you. Needless to say, they will be innocuous, the good ones will stay where they should be.
1. I don’t remember my childhood. Even some of my teenage years. Those stories you have of birthday parties and school parties and homeroom shenanigans? I have none of those. I can vaguely recall some of my friends from that time, but really because they went to school with me my whole life – not because I remember any instances of them or interacting with them. The best I have is recalling pictures that I have seen of that time. I don’t feel like this is any kind of “scarred by any emotional incident”, I don’t feel dark and tortured (ummm, I have some ex-boyfriends that may disagree), I don’t have any issues with intimacy. I think I just have a shit memory. I continue to have a shitty memory to this day.
2. I never snuck out as a kid. I think I only broke curfew once…by 15 minutes…and I woke my mom up when I got home to apologize. Yeah…I was a dork. I didn’t do everything by the book…I had sex before I should have…with one boy…and though I thought I was ready at the time…I wasn’t…and it was awful…but I continued and stayed with him on and off for 12 years…and it remained awful the whole damn time.
3. I have been in more than my share of fights. Not verbal – well – wait – I’ve been in WELL over my share of verbal fights – but number 3 is actually about the number of physical fights I’ve been in…before I turned 21, I had a not-so-silent rage. Usually taken out my boyfriend (probably due to sexual frustration – see number 2), when I was young, it was on my brother…but I was a fighter. I never fought unjustly (well, OK, maybe my brother) – I think I’ve blogged about this before…so this may not count but I don’t remember if I have (see number 1). Anyway, if I see someone getting treated unfairly, I tend to get involved…and sometimes this leads to fighting…and sometimes it means physically. I was once grabbed by a guy outside a movie plaza while his two friends laughed – I had walked around a corner and bumped into one of them and he grabbed my ass and yanked me into him while the others chuckled…so, naturally, I hauled back and punched him in the face – they ran off and I did what any young girl would do…I chased them. I caught one and proceeded to politely explain how he and his friends should treat women in the future. I’d like to think it was a good lesson that he took with him.
4. Often the feeling of water on my face makes me cry. Showers or rain…I’m not sure why – and generally only when I’m really sad about something, but sometimes even when I don’t realize I’m sad. I’ll get in the shower and as soon as I turn around and put my face in the shower I just cry. I have no idea what triggers this. For this reason, if I am going through a horrible break-up…I tend to not shower. I know – AWESOMELY SEXY. I have had to be dragged off the couch by roommates after a 4 day no-shower binge. This could technically be another number, but whatever, I’m also a wallower. I need to wallow to get all my ‘sad’ out…so 4 days on the couch without showering while just crying into a pillow is close to heaven for me. Not as in “this is a good time” but as in “it don’t get more cleanse-y than this”. Oh, I also puke like a mother-fucker when I’m really upset. Seriously, it DOES NOT GET HOTTER THAN ME PEOPLE.
5. I am petrified of driving home and my house being either on fire or burned to the ground. I saw a building get hit by lightening when I was young (oddly enough, THIS I remember) and it caught on fire….I have spent my life being seized by the fear, when rounding the corner to my house, that it will not be standing there. That it will have been burnt to the ground. This fear has subsided some in the last 10 years or so, but living in Florida when the state is constantly on fire, has started to bring it back…It doesn’t surface often, but if I see ANY smoke in the distance, even if not in the direction of my house, I find myself speeding home and don’t realize until I pull in my driveway that I have been panicked the whole time.
6. I can name every boy I’ve ever kissed. There have not been many. In order they are: Dave, Jeff, Brian, Ryan, [redacted], Josh, Matt, Kurt, Kevin, Mark, Chris, Anthony, Kris, Dusty, [redacted], Keith. Ok…I may have lied – I feel like I could have missed one…ummmm…if it was you, I apologize. Also, I apologize for the [redacteds] – but some secrets I’m keeping.
7. I think I could be a government assassin. No, I don’t have any kind of “Alias”/Jennifer Garner fantasy or anything, I’ve actually never even shot a gun. I don’t even have the desire to have a gun in my house, but I am convinced I have the heart and hand of a sharpshooter. I also think I have the detachment and coldness of someone who could kill someone, but the moral turpitude that only do it if it was for a just reason. I mean, I wouldn’t just kill someone for cash, but I could totally be a military sniper. I’m sure of it.
Ok, I can’t imagine what else you’d need to know about me. I don’t think you even need to know that garbage – sorry it isn’t more exciting, but my life is fairly boring..and the stuff that isn’t boring is not fit for broadcast. Sorry, team.
Ok, next up (sorry if you’ve already been tagged, but I can’t keep track of all of your social lives…It is hard enough to keep track of my busy social agenda…by that I mean: tivo). tag @fourformom (duh), @porto_rock, @mamitamojita, @porto_rock, @amassofhumanity, @bignerdscott, @secretsquirrel (who I don’t think follows me or even reads my @replies…but whatever).